%% #📓 #📚 #🔴 #NEXT %% **Title:** Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message **Author:** [[Tara Mohr]] **Citation:** Mohr, T. (2014). *Playing big: Find your voice, your mission, your message.* Gotham Books. --- # Abstract ~ 3 Sentence Summary # Notes & Important Ideas ### Introduction > [! abstract] Introduction Summary > "Playing big doesn't come from working more, pushing harder, or finding confidence. It comes from listening to the most powerful and secure part of you, not the voice of self-doubt" p. xxviii - Definition of [[playing big]] - Often women have the talent, intelligence and experience, but don't see their own capabilities or that their big dreams are possible. - Typical tactics and tips for personal and professional development don't work if a person isn't ready or doesn't have the capacity to use them. - External barriers to women's advancement (discrimination, bias, poor work-family policies, pay disparities) have shaped internal barriers: > Over generations, it shaped how we think of ourselves and what we see as possible for our lives and work. - pg. xxv - Difference between thinking and journaling - Simply thinking can lead to rumination and worrying - Writing about a topic helps us move forward in our thinking to allow new truths to emerge ### Chapter 1 - The Inner Critic > [! abstract] Chapter 1 Summary > We all have a voice of self-doubt that tries to protect us from potential risk. When the critic shows up with a loud voice, that's a sign that you're on the edge of your comfort zone and moving towards a [[Worthy Goal]]. Quiet the voice by recognizing and naming it for what it is. #### Inner critic is the voice of self-doubt - If we don't share our inner thoughts, worries, and self-criticisms with others, we won't hear counterarguments and support (p. 2). - You don't need to permanently banish your [[inner critic]]. Should hear it but not take direction from it (p. 3). #### Difference between inner critic and realistic thinking - Realistic thinking moves us forward and seeks solutions, rather than ruminating on worst-case scenarios. - Realistic thinking is inquisitive, exploratory and highly creative, not skeptical and pessimistic. #### Inner critics try to protect us from potential risk - It's an expression of our safety instinct - meant to protect us from potential risk. - Protects us from external criticism by spewing cruel self-criticisms. - Inner critic speaks up most loudly when we feel particularly vulnerable (p. 10). - Like a [[How to get past the guard at the edge of your comfort zone|guard at the edge of your comfort zone]]. - The more you hear your inner critic and the louder it is, the closer you are to playing big and pursuing a [[Worthy Goal]]. - Doubts and uncomfortable feelings are signs that we're on the right path. #### How to quiet, but not banish, the inner critic 1. Recognize the inner critic's voice and name it 2. Remember that the voice plays in your mind, but it is not who you really are (p. 15). 3. Create a character that personifies your inner critic. 4. Thank your inner critic for the help it is trying to offer, but don't accept it. 5. Look for the humor 6. Dismiss your inner critic from the situation. 7. Put all your inner critic thoughts in a box and move it to a different space. 8. Picture the voice receding into space 9. Turn down the volume on the critic's voice. #### Don't argue with your inner critic, just walk away from the conversation - Just say "Thanks, but I've got this covered." ### Chapter 2 > [! abstract] Chapter 2 Summary > Learn how you can access and start taking direction from your inner mentor. #### ### Chapter 3 > [!abstract] Chapter 3 Summary > Learn how to distinguish between fear that keeps us playing small and fear that is essential for playing big. ### Chapter 4 > [!abstract] Chapter 4 Summary > Learn how to unhook from praise and criticism. ### Chapter 5 > [!abstract] Chapter 5 Summary > Learn how to leave behind good-student habits. ### Chapter 6 > [!abstract] Chapter 6 Summary > Learn about hiding strategies that keep us from playing big. ### Chapter 7 > [!abstract] Chapter 7 Summary > Learn how to take a leap to stretch you into playing bigger. ### Chapter 8 > [!abstract] Chapter 8 Summary > Learn how to communicate in ways that convey confidence, competence, and warmth. ### Chapter 9 > [!abstract] Chapter 9 Summary > Learn how to embrace your callings. ### Chapter 10 > [!abstract] Chapter 10 Summary > Learn how to sustain playing big by maintaining motivation based on self-care. ### Conclustion > [!abstract] Conclusion Summary > Playing big is about transforming systems to be more human-centric. # Connections to Other Materials # Personal Reflection & Application ## Gonzaga Leads Book Club Notes ### 4/29/22 - Ch. 3 & Ch. 6 > [!quote] > [["The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."]] [[Jen Westra]] recommended two books that speak to having too much on your plate and not being able to do well at any of them. TBR:: 🔖 Burnout by Emily & Amelia Nagoski (GR) TBR:: 🔖 Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price (GR) ### 4/21/23 - Ch. 2 TEL:: Jill Yashinsky-Wortman is facilitating the Playing Big Book Club and offered a free coaching session - [https://calendly.com/momentumcoach/womenlead](https://calendly.com/momentumcoach/womenlead). TEL:: Free workshop from Jill - [https://www.eventbrite.com/e/609083052807](https://www.eventbrite.com/e/609083052807) - Exercise: What are all your gifts? Are you living a life that honors all your gifts? TBR:: 🔖 Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown (GR) - Liberated but not empowered. Failure of imagination. (pp 46-47) - Ways to grow into your inner mentor (pp. 60-62) ### 4/28/23 - Ch. 3 & 6 ### 4/28/23 - Inner Mentor Visualization ### 5/5/23 - Ch. 4 & 5 TBR:: 🔖 Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily & Amelia Nagoski (GR) TEL:: Psychologists Off the Clock podcast # Other References [Playing Big Supplemental Resources](https://taramohr.ontraport.com/c/s/kom/sG77M/s/6Wo/FJW/699lwB/saGtCeF93g/P/P/Ss) ## Tags [[Personal Development]]