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# Why Coaching Fails and How to Fix It - Scudder 2022
![[calendar-plus.svg]] <small>Jan 13, 2023</small> | ![[calendar-clock.svg]] <small>Jan 13, 2023</small>
**Speaker(s):** Tim Scudder
**Citation:** Scudder, T. (2022, March 22). *Why coaching fails and how to fix it* [Webinar]. ATD. https://webcasts.td.org/webinar/4364
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# Abstract
A webinar discussing how to use relationship intelligence to facilitate coaching and improve performance and skill development. Also discussed are removing biases that limit coaching effectiveness and mstering a coaching mindset that builds trust and commitment.
## Key Takeaways
- Coaching is not just a process to follow, or a set of tools to use. To be effective, it requires developing a relationship with the coachee.
- In order to co-create a relationship it is important that you really know and understand the other person.
- Coaches can guide coachees to [[re-cast the past]] and [[co-create the future]] by helping them uncover *why* they want to do something differently/get different results.
# Notes & Important Ideas
### Coaching fails when it is just seen as something that managers do.
- Responsibility and metrics are primarily on the coach.
- Need to look at interactions between the coach and coachee to better measure effectiveness of coaching.
- Coaching relies on people taking action after the coaching session.
### Coaching is a relationship that develops both people
- Need to improve the [[relationship intelligence|intelligence]] in the [[relationship]] to get better results
- [[coaching|Coaching]] is not just a set of skills or a process that a coach enacts, it's something that happens between the coach and coachee.
### Memory science helps us understand how the brain plans for the future, which is important in coaching.
- Two different types of memory: [[semantic memory]] and [[episodic memory]]
- The past and the future use the same network of systems in the brain - [[episodic simulation]]
- Primary function of memory is to use knowledge and experiences from the past to make decisions today that will benefit you in the future.
### Quality of relationships can be evaluated across the dimensions of time
- Past - How favorably we view our shared experiences.
- Present - Effectiveness of interactions
- Future - Attractiveness of shared expectations
### Temptation in coaching is to push behavior to achieve desired results
- When there is a gap between desired results and present results, sometimes there is a tendency for coaches to try to push at the behavior level
- There is naturally resistance to changing behavior, so if we stop pushing the behavior tends to bounce back
### To make behavior change more sustainable, authentic, and self-generated focus on underlying motivation
- Help coachee determine *why* they want to do something differently to get a different result
- Use three coaching tools:
1. [[re-cast the past]]
- It is not forgive & forget, ignoring, or dismissing
- It is adding information, exchanging perspective, challenging assumptions
2. [[master the moment]]
3. [[co-create the future]]
### The purpose of a good coaching relationship is to build trust, generate commitment, and drive results
- How well you know your coachees is essential to co-creating the relationship
- What energizes and drives them?
- What do they want to be valued for?
- Why do they come to work and what do they want from their role?
- What are their conflict triggers?
- What is their main focus for development and growth?
## Connections to Other Materials
# Personal Reflection & Application
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# Other References
TBR:: 🔖 Relationship Intelligence by Tim Scudder
TEL:: SDI 2.0
## Tags